no other establishment has been able to conquer all american cravings in such a masterful way.
and by all american, i mean raging, toothless, obese man from alabama with a gas chugging ford that has a calvin peeing on a toyota symbol.
we went to the five guys a few days ago and i remembered just how heart cloggingly divine it is.
five guys has burgers that; in a fight against any other fast food chain would be like dakota fanning fighting laqueesha bernice watermelonesha: gang member from inner city detroit.
five guys brings it.
the burgers are two patties thick at "normal" size.
they drip condiments and grease.
it comes gift wrapped in a foil cocoon from the burger gods.
the workers don't hand you a bag with some goofy ass king or clown plastered on it. i don't care about some skinny ginger white chick, but what i do care about is the alarming rate peanut oil grease is permeating through my bag.
eating at five guys is sort of a feat in itself because you open the bag and you can't find your burger.
your burger is buried in an avalanche of golden, crispy, greasy, fresh cut, middle america potato fries.
i whole heartedly endorse making american gladiators about eating your way to you burger while battling a fire breathing dragon. that's more american than the actual gladiator challenge as it stands, and it still requires the giant q-tip.
on the particular night we got five guys i wasn't hungry so i bought a small order of cajun fries.
that apparently translates to a large order of some fairly saucy french fries.
i started sweating because i never eat spicy foods. honestly i hate spicy things, but cajun flavor is just too wonderfully lip numbing to pass up on an order of greased out fries.
drooling excluded it was a great trip out for some great food.
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